MMM - DAILY
MURDERS, MAYHEM & MALFEASANCE
ISSUE № 999 — 08-12-25
<> PULL QUOTE: ‘I’m drunk and should not have driven.’
-Sloshed driver tells copper after rolling SUV
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Until the next ones… -MMM
⬛ SIRENS/NATIONAL BLOTTER
▀ Mad Gal Tries Totaling Cyclist, Crashes Into House (Memphis, TN)
A MAD WOMAN tried mowing down a bicyclist and managed to slam into a home.
“It was like boom, boom. She ran and hit it out of nowhere,” recalled Chance White.
He said he was pedaling along Wilshire Road at around 7 a.m. on Aug. 7 when a black Infiniti bearing Mississippi plates was recorded on a doorbell cam speeding up to clip him.
The deviant behind the wheel then allegedly dashes away and the car skids to a stop.
She then shifts to reverse and as she tries to take out White — she loses control and strikes the house.
The woman stormed off and was later spotted by responding cops on Robin Hood Lane.
"I had to run after her. I wasn't excited, I was just kind of furious," White said, adding that he was also a gumshoe. "You best believe I had to get them tags."
Once nabbed the woman, who lacked a license, allegedly attempted to claim that she had been the victim of a kidnapping.
That her car was jacked and that she had been pistol-whipped. That she wasn’t the driver when the car was captured striking the home.
In time, she changed her story and came clean about being the lunatic motorist.
White wishes her well, noting: "I just want you to better yourself and get right with God and that's it.”
WATCH:
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Rascal (Lafayette, TN)
A SUSPECT ON a scooter is being pursued for thieving goods from stores.
▀ E-Bicycle Thief (Clovis, CA)
A GOON GANKED someone’s e-bike.
Cops are scoping for a shirtless someone who they say whizzed away on another person’s pricy MacFox X15 back on Aug. 6.
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ 4 Dinged With Drugs And Tobacco (Fresno, CA)
A FOUR-DEEP CREW were wrangled for pushing dope and vapes.
Jeremiah Gonzalez, Gursimran Mahal (both 25), Zackary Torres, 26, and Jonathan Simmavong, 27, were taken into custody after cops ended a months long probe.
A raid yielded a loaded pistol, Oxycontin, Adderall, and Xanax, psilocybin mushroom-infused candy bars, flavored nicotine vape products, electronics, and cash.
HAUL: A loaded pistol, Oxycontin, Aderall, and Xanax, psilocybin mushroom-infused candy bars, flavored nicotine vape products, electronics, and cash
RAP: Multiple narcotics-related offenses, including possession of controlled substances and marijuana with intent to sell, possession of prescription sedatives and drug paraphernalia (Gonzalez hit with violating probation; Mahal faces a felon in possession of a firearm)
▀ Perp Parts With Dope While Ducking Fuzz (Hickory, NC)
THEY WERE TRACKING a suspected glass slinger. And one that was up in years.
Back in June, investigators were eyeing and earring 60-year-old Kenneth Jones.
Then on Aug. 7, Jones was stopped on Interstate 40 while traveling from Charlotte to Morganton, North Carolina.
Jones punched the gas and attempted to outrun the fuzz.
And while eluding capture, Jones allegedly tossed all kinds of items out the window.
He was soon brought under after crashing into a deputy’s cruiser on Fairgrove Church Road.
The authorities searched and recovered the discarded items and they are 1,015 grams of crystal methamphetamine, 4.4 ounces of marijuana, $5,200, and drug paraphernalia.
▀ Crack + Coke From Home Base (Rome, NY)
IT WAS A home. And also a business.
Iabriel Sumter, 41, was busted on Aug. 6 for plying coke and crack out of his home on West Embargo Street.
State cops served warrants at Sumter’s home and at Gary Auto Sales on Calvert Street.
HAUL: Four ounces of cocaine, over a half ounce of crack cocaine, a loaded Walther PK380 pistol, more than $2,000, and various drug packaging materials and scales
RAP: Second-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance and second-degree criminal possession of a weapon,
⬛ THE BLUE NOTE
▀ No Self-Serve (Waukesha, WI)
▀ Bust Stop (Waukesha, WI)
«SOURCE»
▀ Klepto Snags Driver (Westlake Village, CA)
«SOURCE»
▀ Airport Slaughterhouse! (Anacortes, WA)
▀ Iced Out (Anacortes, WA)
▀ Gas Pumper Hoses Station (Anacortes, WA)
«SOURCE»
▀ Honest And Inebriated Abe (Charleston, SC)
«SOURCE»
▀ Way Past Last Call (Gillette, WY)
▀ Heifer Homicides (Gillette, WY)
▀ Baptized At Wendy’s (Gillette, WY)
▀ Clerk Wasn’t Laughing When Customer Pulled A Good ‘Ol Knife Brandishing Joke
▀ Granny Stalker (Gillette, WY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ SCENESTERS
▀ Deflated (San Mateo, CA)
A SUNDAY NIGHT pursuit between a perp in a boosted ride and the officers ended when some sort of tire immobilization device was deployed and essentially destroyed the car’s tires.
Cops say the driver tossed a pistol out the window.
A search turned up numerous “nefarious” tools from the stolen vehicle.
