MMM - DAILY
MURDERS, MAYHEM & MALFEASANCE
ISSUE № 1028 — 09-30-25
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Until the next ones… -MMM
⬛ SIRENS/NATIONAL BLOTTER
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Crowned Dope (Bakersfield, CA)
HIS STUFF WAS imperial.
At least that was the table-top takeaway.
Dario Ramos-Ibarra, 51, was taken into custody on Sept. 25 following a shakedown and collected five pounds of fentanyl (at least one brick emblazoned with a five-point crown), ten grams of meth, 11 ounces of black tar H, meth, more than $5,000, a rifle, a pistol, a silencer, and rounds.
HAUL: Five pounds of fentanyl, ten grams of meth, 11 ounces of black tar H, meth, more than $5,000, a rifle, a pistol, a silencer, and rounds
RAP: Drug trafficking
▀ Driving While Loaded (Brownsville, TN)
THERE WASN’T MUCH of a hiding place to stash the coke, cash, and iron.
On Sept. 24, narcos pulled over a convicted felon and searched their East Jefferson Street home that was being used to sling crack.
The seizure resulted in a loaded Smith and Wesson pistol, wads of bills, and a 1/2 ounce of cocaine.
The unnamed suspect who had done hard time was out on probation.
▀ Rock The Chemical Fun House (Visalia, CA)
IT WAS A geologist’s dream.
Coppers (aka “party crashers”) paid a surprise meet-and-greet at a home on South Mendonca Street. They brought all their pals with multiple agencies.
At around 10:15 a.m. on Monday, cops busted 55-year-old Lance Mitchell and took inventory of his alleged crack collection involving a half-pound of meth, two stolen guns, and an active DMT lab.
Then they patted themselves on the back.
VPD: We love nature and love collecting rocks. If you like collecting rocks too, especially the kind that comes in little baggies, we should totally hang out. Bonus points if your rock guy’s name is Lance… What did they find? Oh, just a solid half-pound of meth (that’s a lot of “rocks,” if you’re keeping track), two stolen firearms (because nothing says “trust me” like illegally owned weapons), and an active DMT lab. Yes, a real-life chemical funhouse in full swing.The Tulare County HIDTA team came in to safely shut down the lab, probably while wondering why every Breaking Bad wannabe thinks they won’t get caught. Moral of the story: If your rocks are making headlines, you might want to rethink your hobby.
⬛ THE BLUE NOTE
▀ Where Did Mr. Peacock Go? (Olmsted Heights, OH)
▀ My Roommate’s An Asshole (Olmsted Falls, OH)
▀ Creeps Lurking In Plain Sight (Olmsted Falls, OH)
«SOURCE»
▀ Lard Larcenists Target IHOP (East Windsor, NJ)
«SOURCE»
▀ Cemetery’s Possessed Sprinklers?? (Park City, UT)
▀ Dimwits (Park City, UT)
«SOURCE»
▀ Bogus Bank Snooker (Edmonds, WA)
«SOURCE»
▀ Cig Lighting Distraction Didn’t Sway K9 (Prince Frederick, MD)
«SOURCE»
▀ Road Warrior Caps Off (Harvest, TX)
▀ Got Away… And Then He Didn’t (Northlake, TX)
«SOURCE»
▀ Goats Wander Off In Neighbor’s Cemetery (Seymour, CT)
▀ Not A Short-Cut (Seymour, CT)
«SOURCE»
▀ Faux Cops Faked Around And Found Out (Long Beach, NY)
▀ Crushed (Baldwin, NY)
▀ Bad Dad (Roosevelt, NY)
▀ Not A Locksmith Nor Landlord… (Herricks, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ WORLDLY WTF
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▀ Mammoth Capsizer (Botswana)
A SAFARI TOOK a massive dive. Boaters hoping to scope some wildlife were nearly squashed like peanuts on Saturday.
Video from one of the trawlers shows an especially nonplussed pacaderm on the Okavango Delta bumrushing the tourists and their guides and using his trunk to send one of them overboard.
WATCH: «VIDEO»
⬛ SCENESTERS
▀ Shoveled (Chicago, IL)
A MANIAC WITH a shovel pummeled a person on the ground like a fallen piñata.
The incident was captured on camera by a driver who pulled over to record. It’s unclear who was involved and what prompted the thrashing.
WATCH: «VIDEO»
▀ Liquor Looter Leaves Empty-Handed
A SUSPECTED BOOZE bilker tried trollying out of a liquor shop — but was blocked by several Good Sams.
They hindered his exit and prevented him from rolling out with the suspected unpaid for hooch.
WATCH: «VIDEO»
⬛ ET AL
▀ The Lambada Train (New York, NY)
A STRAPHANGER PULLED out all the sultry stops.
The mundane point A to point B ride on Gotham’s tube and all of the passengers were treated to an impromptu performance. A person wasall too tickled to disco and put on a dance atop the bench seats and get intimate with the shuttered sliding doors.
Plenty of laughs and amused spectators who cleared the artiste to do get down and dirty.
▀ Early Wakeup Call (Los Angeles, CA)
A YAWPING MAN with a cane was recorded having quite an epic moment on a Los Angeles street.
